i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
