Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
