if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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