2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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