the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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