Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
