Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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