I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
