she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
