My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
