1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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