physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
