I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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