my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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