she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
