I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
