if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I cannot find my penis.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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