I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
