ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
