My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
