I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
