If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The feeling are messing with the penis
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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