Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
