but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
