five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
