i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
