i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
