What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
