I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
