i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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