Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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