You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
