why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Vodka?
Forever.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
