just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
