If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
