found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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