I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
