My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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