I think I am morally bankrupt
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
