another moral hangover. fuck.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
