Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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