Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
