i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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