My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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