He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize