watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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