Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
