Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize