Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
