Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Terrible idea I love it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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