He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
