doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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