Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
