The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
