Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
