i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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