I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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