it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
