I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
