Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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