Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
